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October 2002- April 2003
Jamie's Journey
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October 30, 2002
 
I can't believe that it has been over a month since I have updated this site!  My how time flies!  I will tell you that I have a good excuse, I have been crazy busy.  Between my job and my personal life I haven't had a lot of extra time on my hands. 
 
~Christina Update~  As you know Christina was scheduled for surgery on October 23rd, well unfortunately she had to be rescheduled to December 4th.  It is very dissappointing, but it is for the best.  She was really sick and ended up being too sick to have the surgery last week.  You know what they say...good things come to those who wait, but waiting sucks!!  Christina is keeping her chin up though, and I keep telling her that it's better to wait and be healthy than to have it too soon and end up with complications.
 
I have been pretty stuck on a plateau lately weigh wise.  I am hovering right around 185 - 190 right now.  I am still wearing a size 14 pants and large or extra large in shirts.  I know I need to exercise and I am planning on it in November.  There is a gym in Bradenton that is turning into a Shapes and that's when I'll join.  I am not trying to go to a meat market to work out, so an all women gym is just right for me.  I am still planning on having plastic surgery in December.  I go for my pre-op appointment on December 4th.  I AM WAY EXCITED!!  I just can't imagine what I will look like after the surgery.  I almost cry when I  think about how far I have come in the last year.  My birthday is on Monday and I was thinking back to my last birthday and I just can't hardly wrap my mind around how different my life is today than it was last year.  I hope that I never take for granted the wonderful opportunities that this surgery has afforded me.  Just for example, I went to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Islands of Adventure on Friday and I could do anything I wanted.  I could ride any ride, walk to any part of the park, stand in any line and you know what?!?!?  I could have stayed longer!!  The last time I was at Islands of Adventure I was too embarrassed to even attempt to ride any of the rides.  My biggest fear was that I would wait in the line and then not be able to fit in the seat of the ride and have to get off in front of all those people!  YIKES!  What a difference in my out look and my attitude these days.  I know that I am still not thin and I am still considered obese, but I like my life a lot better these days.  On the other hand now I can't hide behind my weight anymore.  I have started dating again and it's hard because before I lost the weight I could use that as my excuse for why a guy didn't like me or want to be with me.  Now I don't have that excuse and it's causing me to sometimes think that there is something wrong with me and that's why a particular guy isn't interested in me.  I know that I may sound crazy, but dating as fun as it is, is also very painful when you haven't worked out all of your body issues.
 
On a happier note, The Bachelor is heating up and I am loving every minute of it!  Aaron is definately a hottie.  He really has a lot going for him and I know that he'll make some lucky girl a great husband.  I just wish that Aaron would get rid of Gwen!  Her hair looks so fake!  Oh, speaking of hair, mine is finally growing back in full force.  I am so glad, but it's so annoying at the same time because I have 2 inch strands of hair all over the place that stick out in every direction.  I have to use a ton of gel and hairspray to keep it in place, but I don't complain too much because at least it's growing back!!
 
My goal in the next month to update this site a lot more often because there is so much more to tell, but I just don't have the time right this minute.  I'll keep you posted on my progress and please don't hesitate to email me if you have any questions!! It might take me a couple of days, but I always email you back!! 

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January 8, 2003
 
Happy New Year everyone!!  So much has happened in the last month or so it's hard to know where to begin.  I guess I'll start with Christina...she had her surgery on December 4th with Dr. Este here in Bradenton.  Everything went exceedingly well and she was out of the hospital in just a few short days.  I am very proud of her because she wasn't nearly the baby I was when I was in the hospital.  She was up and around and doing things for herself so quickly afterwards.  So far she has lost around 40 pounds in the first month.  I am not sure of the exact number because she went to the doctor to weigh herself the other day and the scale wasn't working.  I am not even sure if she knows the exact number just yet.  I am so proud of her, this is such a huge life change and she has handled it so wonderfully.  Christina, I know I don't tell you this often enough but I love you and I am so proud of you!  You will never know how much you mean to me and what an inspiration you are to me!  Ok, Ok enough mushy stuff....
 
On to my update!!  I celebrated my one year anniversary on November 23rd by going out to eat Mexican food and seeing the movie Real Women have Curves with Christina.  Very appropriate movie I think! We had a good time, of course.  For my anniversary I bought myself a membership to the new Shapes that just opened here.  I go sometimes and my new year's resolution is to go at least 4 times a week.  So far so good, but it's only January 8th!!  I am sure that once I make it a habit it will be easy to stick to.  I also have my workout buddy to keep me in check.  Thanks Kristen!! :o)  As far as my plastic surgery goes, well, I didn't end up having it.  I ran into some financial difficulty and coming up with the 10 grand for surgery just didn't happen like it was supposed to.  It looks like I will have the surgery but I'll just have to wait until the summer.  In the mean time though, I entered the ABC Extreme Makeover Contest.  I am not sure if you saw that show or not, but they chose 3 reasonably attractive people and gave them all sorts of plastic surgery, cosmetic dentistry, a new hair style and their own personal shopper.  Now that's my kind of show.  I hope I win!!  How cool would that be!?!?  I could be on TV and get all my plastic surgery paid for.  I had to fill out this 12 page application, send in a video of myself and pictures.  I was not thrilled with the video that I did, but I couldn't think of what to say.  I didn't want to beg or anything, and I didn't want to come off as this arrogant girl either.  2 minutes is a mighty long time when you don't know what to say.  I just hope that I win!!  You have no idea (or maybe you do) of what it's like to shop for clothes with this ugly apron of skin on your abdomen.  It's really hard because if I find something that fits in the legs and in the butt, it doesn't fit in the stomach and the waist area and if I find something that fits in the stomach region it's too big in the legs and the butt!  Oh well, maybe I just care too much.  Anyway, I had a really good Christmas.  Santa was very generous and I received some really nice gifts.  It was also good because I got to see a lot of my family that I hadn't really seen in the past couple of years.  The downfall of this holiday season is that we celebrated 2 Thanksgivings and 3 Christmas' with different parts of my family each time.  So there were twice as many pumkin pies and three times as many Christmas cookies.  And I love the kids that go to my school, but I got candy and cookies and junk food out the wazoo for Christmas.  All in all I only gained 3 pounds, but I never thought I would EVER gain weight after surgery.  I was wrong and that really got my attention that the surgery is only what you make of it.  You will lose weight in the beginning no matter what, but if you aren't careful about what you eat and don't keep up with your excerise it can creep up on you.
 
In other news....I have been dating a lot and liking it.  It's hard sometimes because if I feel like I am not into a guy as much as he's into me I feel like I should just stay with him and be grateful that he wants to be with me.  Then I get my head out of my butt and realize that it's not fair to either him or me to keep a relationship like that going.  There really isn't anyone special in my life (except Shiloh!!) right now, there are a couple of guys that I like, but I am pretty much keeping my options open!! HAHA!!  :o)  Actually I am going to school full time this semester and working full time, so if I have a free minute then I'll date, but right now it's not that big of an issue to me.
 
Have you been watching TV lately???  First of all I am irritated that Aaron chose Helene over Brooke.  I loved Brooke!!  Helene just seemed so nonchalant about the whole thing that it irritated me.  I also watched Joe Millionare...that show kind of irritated me because that poor guy Evan is such a bad liar and you can honestly tell that he doesn't come from money.  I know the story is that he inherited it, but come on, if someone in your family had 50 million dollars you would have been around it at some point to know how to act.  I am sure that I'll keep watching, but I feel bad for Evan.  The new Real World/Road Rules Battle of the Sexes is bound to prove very interesting.  I can't belive how mean Melissa was to Julie.  Christina thinks I look like Julie, but I don't see it.  I picked my team from MTV.com!!  I bet we'll win!!  Tonight starts the new show The Bachlorette with Trista from the first Bachelor show.  You know Alex chose Amanda over Trista, well now it's her turn!!  I am definitely going to be watching that tonight.  God I am pathetic!  I am like a total reality TV junkie. 
 
Well, I hope that you are all doing well so far in the new year and I will update again soon!!
 
PS There is a new picture on the Before and After page.  I have another one to add too but I can't figure out how to turn it around....anyway, check it out!!

The men of The Bachelorette!!
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Boy there are some hotties in the group!!

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Here are the before and after pics of the people on ABC's Extreme Makeover...maybe that will be me!

March 28, 2003
 
Hi again everyone...this is just going to be a quick enrty to let you know all is well.  Christina is doing FABULOUS and looking great.  She has lost about 70 pounds so far and has gone down at least 2 sizes in clothes.  As soon as she'll let me I'll post some pictures of her.
 
I am doing great.  I am dating a wonderful guy and things are going well.  I debated for a little while about telling him I had the surgery and when I finally did it was no big deal to him.  I guess some of my insecurities are still there and I thought that if he knew I used to be really big then that would change his opinion of me.  Boy was I wrong!! 
 
On the makeover front...I haven't heard anything from ABC about it and I am sure I wasn't selected, but you never know.  I am still planning on having plastic surgery I might just have to pay for it myself...DRAT!  I am looking at having it done in June.
 
Oh, one more little thing that made my day yesterday and then I have to run...I was in Burlington Coat Factory yesterday lokking for a bathing suit (YUCK!) and this little girl who was about 9 or 10 came up to me and said "Hi" and I said "Hi" back, then she told me "I think you are one of the prettiest ladies I have ever seen."  You could have knocked me over with a feather.  Ususally girls that age are so critical and for her to think that I am pretty made me smile all day.....I have come a long way baby!!
 
I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE that when I get back into town I will have a detailed update for you all!!  I have so much to share!! 

April 9, 2003
 
Happy Birthday to my brother Chris!!  He's 23 today!
 
There is so much that I have to catch you up on and I have no idea where to begin....Well, this semester I am going to school full time, working full time and I was also involved in a play at the beginning of the semester.  That's one of the major developments in my life lately.  I actually auditioned for a play.  I didn't get a part, but I was the Stage Manager and also the female understudy for the show.  It was a lot of fun and I made some really great friends through the process.  I know that I would have never had the guts to audition before having the surgery.  It has changed my life that much.  Before I would have never even considered it.  Now I don't have anything to fear and the only thing that is holding me back is me and not my weight.  That is BIG news.
 
On the dating front...I have been dating a lot since the end of last year and unfortunately didn't have that much success.  I actually had a stalker for a little while.  It was very hard for me to believe that someone liked me enough that even after I rejected him that he still wanted me.  It's been a new experience for me to actually have control in a relationship.  Prior to losing weight I felt like it was a priveledge for me to have someone show interest in me and I basically dated anyone I could.  I thought that I better just take what I can get because that's all I deserve, well sisters let me tell you that is not the case anymore.  I have dumped more guys in the past 6 months than in my lifetime.  I am not excited about that fact, but what I am excited about is that I have taken back my personal life and if I don't think that a guy is right for me then I tell him.  On the bright side, I met this really great guy about 6 weeks ago and things are going fabulously.  I really like him and I know that he really likes me and we get along great.  The only downfall to our relationship is that I live in Bradenton and he lives in Orlando.  It's only 2 hours, but it sucks because I can't see him whenever I want to.  He actually came down this past weekend and met my family.  I am talking about the whole family, all my siblings, my parents, grandparents, and Christina.  Everyone really liked him and I am glad because their opinion means a lot to me.  Since he is from Ohio he had never been on a boat or fishing before so my mom, dad, Chris, and I took him fishing on Sunday and we caught a lot of fish.  I was so excited for him because he caught a lot of fish, got to see wild dolphins, and a sea turtle.  He had never seen anything like that in the wild before.  It's so wierd to think that there are people who have never had that experience and I take it for granted.  All in all we had an excellent weekend!  We have already made plans to spend Easter together, then we are going on 2 weekend trips: one to Knoxville, TN and then to the Keys with my parents.  I am so glad that I have finally found someone that I like....it's been way too long!!  Oh by the way, he is the first guy that I have dated since the surgery that actually knows about the surgery.  I told him and he didn't even care.  He was curious and asked me a lot of questions, but he doesn't care. That means a lot to me.  He also knows about my plans for plastic surgery and he doesn't want me to do it because he likes me the way I am.  Unfortunately for him I am still doing it.  :o)  He doesn't really care, he just wants me to do what will make me happy and doesn't want anything bad to happen to me.  :o)  Am I lucky or what!??!?!?
 
Onto a Christina update~~~ she is doing just great.  She has lost more than 70 pounds since Decemeber and looks wonderful.  She won't let me put pictures of her on the site yet, but I'll talk her into it before long.  She is wearing a size 22/24 and I am so proud of her.  It's like reliving my whole experience over again and I remember how happy I was when I was losing so fast!!  Christina, keep up the good work honey!!!  I am so proud of you!!
 
I have lost another 15 pounds, but that is after gaining some weight over the holidays, etc.  I have been working out and I am wearing a size 14 in Old Navy, Learners, Express, etc and I can't wear anything in Lane Bryant anymore.  I am so thankful for that.  I actually bought a shirt the other day from Learners and it was a medium!!  I almost fainted.  I don't even like the shirt that much, but it was a medium so I bought it anyway.  I am still planning on the tummy tuck and the boob job in June, hopefully.  Keep your fingers crossed that everything happens so that I can have the surgery.
 
Well, I have bad news...I didn't get picked for the ABC Extreme Makeover.  I am a little bummed, but oh well.